Saturday, April 30, 2011

Thus Spake Buffaloes

Hyderabad, Delhi, Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Uttar Pradesh, Uttarakhand...each place is unique, but one thing is common, Buffaloes. They are quintessentially Indian and they are there everywhere. I was just wondering what they had to say if the could speak.

Hence, here it is...'If they could speak' :

# They call us cattle and animals. Look at what they are doing, drink something which looks like what we pee and then they puke it all over the roads. Just that the point of throwing out is different. Very interesting...

# You might have a Merc, you might have a BMW, but you better stop when we are walking on the roads. Its not just yours because you've a car. Its our home.

# Yes, we are black and we might not take a bath as regularly as you, but at least we don't smear paint over our body like some of those in the posters on the walls.

# You poor pedestrians on the streets...when you have to cross a road, how long do you have to wait? You have to be at the mercy of some soul who might slow down for you to cross or till the light on the pole turns red. Look at us, its either our way or no way.

# Yes, when we die we might not get a burial or a decent cremation. Our soul is left to wander. But at least, nobody will fight or kill each other after we're dead for what we have left.

# The white of our species, the female ones give milk and they are worshiped. So do we, but we do not complain or go on hunger strikes or not give milk right? No...

# Sometimes late night, we can see your lot, staggering on the roads and eventually walking like us on all fours. We sometimes laugh over it, sometimes we just go crap and watch the fun.

# We crap on the roads, yes. If you can, please build us a toilet. We'll try putting it to good use.

# No, there are no cannibals amongst our lot. We love each other too much for any such antics.

# And No, we don't worship cows. We just hit on them.

# We acted in a Tamil movie which was made into many languages and is many other movies. But we don't have the arrogance of a film star or anything, let us remind you.

# We heard somebody by the name Kancha Illaiah has written a theory with our name. We would like to meet him someday for a chai party, of course our own milk.

PS: The post is in bold just like the Buffaloes, BIG, BLACK and BOLD.


  1. haahahhahahaaaaaaa.... cool one. nice narrative

  2. @ Gautam: Thank you. I felt for the Buffaloes. I could relate to them ;-)

  3. hahahahaa...the above comment is even funnier :) good one