Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I am a Bachelor

Yes, I am single and a bachelor. Till very recently I have been living alone in a penthouse where all I had for company is my laptop and some books and some things I wouldn't wanna reveal. I am a happy bachelor living in my pad and I love it because:

# True, sometimes when I wake up in the morning and I find the tooth paste is over. I might have to adjust with an orbit or some other chewing gum. Its okay, its not like I am going to kiss somebody.

# What if my clothes are not washed for a while? How do you think deodorants survive in the market? They should actually, as a token of respect and appreciation for all the non cleaning provide bachelors a year's free supply of deodorants.

# Yes, papers might be spread on the floor and I might be spread on them. Any issues?

# I might go home late night or not go at all. So what? There is nobody waiting there to share a dinner or to welcome you home. So let it be.

# Can you imagine playing Pink Floyd or The Doors in a faint decibel? Music is meant to be played loud. I will play it as loud as I like, so what? I don't speak to myself much to hear me.

# Sundays are meant to be spent with the 2 B's and 2 M's, Boxer shorts + Beers and Movies + Music.

# Yes, I am a social being. People will come home, and since they are all humans, they'll laugh, sing and dance too. As long as they don't hit on the neighbour or hit the neighbour its okay.

# I might wake up in the middle of the night and start watching The Departed or Pulp Fiction again, am I disturbing anybody?

# Realised utensils are a waste of space and cleaning them is a lot of effort. Beer, you can drink straight out of the bottle and so do other fruit juices and sodas which comes in tetra packs and plastic bottles. For everything else, there are disposable plastic glasses.

# There is nobody to tell me, do not walk on the terrace wearing a boxer shorts. In summers that is a real comfort, if you want to know, try it out yourself.

# Food eaten out of the packets they are packed in is the tastiest. Plates are a major pain once used till next use and the effort between the cycle, phew!

# Spreading waste materials on the floor is very bad, accepted. But who said, crumbled papers, plastic covers, beer bottles, news papers etc are waste? They are very useful. They are all sources of money. Go green, recycle your waste.

# Sometimes I do try to cook, I cook everything and find out the plates are not washed and I am too lazy to do anything after cooking. Ever tried having chicken curry out of a pressure cooker? If not, try it. Its amazing and tasty.

# Yes, I might wake up in the morning with the lungi (a mallu attire resembling a bed sheet) over my head or it could be used as a bed sheet. Frankly, who cares. If you've a problem do not walk into my room during my sleeping hours.

# Hair, it grows on you. The more you try to curb it, the more it grows. Leave it to its own pace, when others really want to see your face they'll do something about it.

# Mirrors for girls. Leave it, its of no use to people who don't shave or comb their hair.

# Last but not the least, Intoxication is not a crime, its just a way of life.

Ah, I am a happy happy bachelor...


  1. Awesome stuff! I feel your pain :) Some of it totally qualify for spinster stuff too :) I will keep my room / house the way I want it and live as I want until I am ready to be tied down to "responsibilities of the lady of the house". For now, I am responsible for ME and as long as I am not under people's noses I'd like people to leave me be :)

  2. @ Time out: There is no pain in it. Just mirth. I am very happy with the state of being as of now!

  3. I agree with Time Out. Most of it applies to single women like me too. So what if I have more of Maggi in my kitchen than dal-chawal? Am I forcing anyone else to eat it? And I will wash clothes if and when I want to, and that too, I have to wash only mine, not a husband and kids'.

  4. @ Spaceman Spiff: Of course, some things are the same with all. Good that some things are common.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. @ Shameless oops...sorry, Spaceman Spiff:
    Let it be. I believe in democracy.

  7. @ Arun john: I wanna read what spaceman spiff wrote> please inbox it to me !

  8. Cheers!!! Someone should find a nice name for newspaper(like Kalpavriksha for coconut). It comes cheap,used as sheeet while eating,as pillow cover when there is oil in hair and 2 days passed since bath etc.. It can be sold as well!

    Loved the post.

  9. @ Avirat: Yea dude. Its such a useful thing!

  10. @ Blogavathy: Ah, madame was alive kya? Great. Thank you madame!

  11. hehehe.... when i stop ROFL, i will try and comment!! Terrific post there; truly new perspective to a lot of stuff .... and the lungi on the head along with the inherent qualities of hair - masterpieces!!

  12. @ Meena: Thanks for the comment, even if you don't comment anything more I am happy. If could make somebody Roll on the floor laughing, what more can I ask for!

  13. To all: Here is what my friend Divya Nambiar a.k.a known as Spaceman Spiff wrote about a Spinster's life: